changes

To anyone listening,

I've been trying to make small changes just to keep my mind busy and fresh.  I tried changing my hair and the red highlights were barely seen.  I just repainted the guest bathroom upstairs.  It is black and white and will have Marilyn Monroe pictures and rhinestones.  I just wish I could push myself to change other things.  I start cleaning the counter and cry.

Yesterday a friend of mine had a baby and posted pictures on Facebook.  I actually thought I was happy for her and then thought about how close we were in our due dates so we would talk a lot about pregnancy and now she gets to go home with a baby.  Another friend of mine took the time to write me a sweet message about it.  She said she saw the post and thought of me.  She knew I would be happy for her but sad in my own way and wanted to see how I was.  It's funny how people you aren't close to care so much.  It says a lot.  I thought it was extremely kind of her.

I am trying to get my makeup portfolio updated too.  It's hard because I don't like how I look or feel and the last thing I need is someone judging that but I have to remind myself that they might not be even thinking about it.  I need to try and get out there again and unfortunately my portfolio is lacking.

I do tend to meet such amazing women when I do makeup.  I even have some as friends on Facebook and some who have recommended me to others.  I think it's pretty awesome how that happens.

In a few weeks, our memorial bench for Faith will be done:

In loving memory of
Faith Heuser
Always loved, never forgotten, forever missed
Love, Mommy & Daddy
12/19/16-5/26/17

I think it will help me a lot.  Wow, that even made me tear up.

When will my life turn around?  My marriage is amazing so check that off the list.  Everything else I will have to see..

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