dieting
To anyone listening,
Dieting sucks. I don't like to say it's a way of life. It's a diet and it sucks. I lost 50lbs about 3 years ago or so and the only thing I liked about it was that I had a better selection of clothes. Man I miss those clothes.
After a lot of stress in the last several years, I noticed I was eating and drinking more often. I was embarrassed by my actions and pretty much quit the drinking stuff except one once in a while and the eating.. well, it's more difficult than ever now.
My blood is normal. Actually my blood comes back better when I'm not dieting. That is super weird. After my surgery last year, it became hard to even wear jeans without pain. I am still wearing yoga pants. I am not always cleared to exercise and can barely move at times from the pain. So now not only am I not really able to exercise, I can eat. I eat and not move. Guess who gained weight?
I don't even think too much about myself looking a certain way for me but so people don't make fun of me. I was made fun of most of my life for my looks and I've seen pictures where I think I look ok only to see that I do not. I look like a fat blob. That's the worst. I finally feel like I look ok and then boom, I look awful!!
I would like to be able to go up and down stairs without sweating or even go grocery shopping without the glistening forehead sweat. Right now I had a bad day so I want pizza. I am totally an emotional eater whether I'm happy or sad. I was raised by a single dad who only knew two words when it came to dinner.. fast food. He even made fun of me. Go figure. I know Dustin loves me at either weight but I can't help but want to look like a million dollars for him. I think that may require a nose job too. I'm getting too old to wait any longer to lose weight and maintain and if you speak to anyone that has lost weight, boy do they have advice. UGHHHH!!!! I didn't ask 90% of the time. I lost 50lbs by counting calories and still eating what I like. That seemed to work but I was about 33 and since all the health stuff, everything in my body seemed to have become a lazy bunch of potatoes. I guess people can judge me. So be it. I can't stop it from happening. I just have to remember that if my blood work is good and my husband loves me the way I am then sometimes I have to love me the way I am too. I should love myself at any weight. Period.
Dieting sucks. I don't like to say it's a way of life. It's a diet and it sucks. I lost 50lbs about 3 years ago or so and the only thing I liked about it was that I had a better selection of clothes. Man I miss those clothes.
After a lot of stress in the last several years, I noticed I was eating and drinking more often. I was embarrassed by my actions and pretty much quit the drinking stuff except one once in a while and the eating.. well, it's more difficult than ever now.
My blood is normal. Actually my blood comes back better when I'm not dieting. That is super weird. After my surgery last year, it became hard to even wear jeans without pain. I am still wearing yoga pants. I am not always cleared to exercise and can barely move at times from the pain. So now not only am I not really able to exercise, I can eat. I eat and not move. Guess who gained weight?
I don't even think too much about myself looking a certain way for me but so people don't make fun of me. I was made fun of most of my life for my looks and I've seen pictures where I think I look ok only to see that I do not. I look like a fat blob. That's the worst. I finally feel like I look ok and then boom, I look awful!!
I would like to be able to go up and down stairs without sweating or even go grocery shopping without the glistening forehead sweat. Right now I had a bad day so I want pizza. I am totally an emotional eater whether I'm happy or sad. I was raised by a single dad who only knew two words when it came to dinner.. fast food. He even made fun of me. Go figure. I know Dustin loves me at either weight but I can't help but want to look like a million dollars for him. I think that may require a nose job too. I'm getting too old to wait any longer to lose weight and maintain and if you speak to anyone that has lost weight, boy do they have advice. UGHHHH!!!! I didn't ask 90% of the time. I lost 50lbs by counting calories and still eating what I like. That seemed to work but I was about 33 and since all the health stuff, everything in my body seemed to have become a lazy bunch of potatoes. I guess people can judge me. So be it. I can't stop it from happening. I just have to remember that if my blood work is good and my husband loves me the way I am then sometimes I have to love me the way I am too. I should love myself at any weight. Period.
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