Outting
To anyone listening,
I went out yesterday with no makeup and dragging my feet to go see something I love.. fireworks. Dustin wasn't even totally wanting to go but it was one of those "once you get out you will have fun" type of times.
We got there a little early and walked around. I saw families everywhere. Little kids were running around and spinning with their dads and dancing and being goofy. Some kids were in cute little 4th of July outfits and some were in pajamas. Every time I took a second, I looked at the kids and there would always be one smiling or waving at me.
About 2 hours in, there was this little boy around 12 months old who I just kept making funny faces with and he would smile and hide. He would wave back at me and I would do the same. It took everything inside of me not to cry. I would have been pretty pregnant by now and it hurts that I won't have that for the next 4th of July. I miss it all so much. I miss the feeling of being pregnant even though it wasn't fun :), of looking at kids and wondering if my kids would laugh the same way and be happy, if my kids would love life and watching fireworks. It was harder than I thought.
Dustin forgot his glasses in the car so we decided to head there and put the blanket outside the car and watch the fireworks there. Next to us on a blanket a few cars down was a family of 4 and one pregnant woman, probably about as far along as I would have been. Dustin bought me a little bubble maker which I loved. It was so fun. I was playing with it and I saw this little girl, maybe 2, looking at it with this smiling face wanting so badly to play with it and then very quickly would look sad because she couldn't play with it to. I looked at Dustin and I said I really want to give this to them for the little girl to play with. He said to go ahead. I did and the parents were shocked. They said thank you so much and that I made her day. I spent the rest of the evening watching her from the corner of my eye dancing in bubbles.
I want one day to be dancing in bubbles with my little girl..
I went out yesterday with no makeup and dragging my feet to go see something I love.. fireworks. Dustin wasn't even totally wanting to go but it was one of those "once you get out you will have fun" type of times.
We got there a little early and walked around. I saw families everywhere. Little kids were running around and spinning with their dads and dancing and being goofy. Some kids were in cute little 4th of July outfits and some were in pajamas. Every time I took a second, I looked at the kids and there would always be one smiling or waving at me.
About 2 hours in, there was this little boy around 12 months old who I just kept making funny faces with and he would smile and hide. He would wave back at me and I would do the same. It took everything inside of me not to cry. I would have been pretty pregnant by now and it hurts that I won't have that for the next 4th of July. I miss it all so much. I miss the feeling of being pregnant even though it wasn't fun :), of looking at kids and wondering if my kids would laugh the same way and be happy, if my kids would love life and watching fireworks. It was harder than I thought.
Dustin forgot his glasses in the car so we decided to head there and put the blanket outside the car and watch the fireworks there. Next to us on a blanket a few cars down was a family of 4 and one pregnant woman, probably about as far along as I would have been. Dustin bought me a little bubble maker which I loved. It was so fun. I was playing with it and I saw this little girl, maybe 2, looking at it with this smiling face wanting so badly to play with it and then very quickly would look sad because she couldn't play with it to. I looked at Dustin and I said I really want to give this to them for the little girl to play with. He said to go ahead. I did and the parents were shocked. They said thank you so much and that I made her day. I spent the rest of the evening watching her from the corner of my eye dancing in bubbles.
I want one day to be dancing in bubbles with my little girl..
Comments
Post a Comment