Thanksgiving

To anyone listening,

After the miscarriage, I kind of took a spiral of depression and anger and loss.. certain songs will never be the same.  I was looking at my Etsy favorites and they all had to do with a baby and some with Faith in the title before I even knew I was going to have a girl.

So, with that spiral, I hit the highest weight I have ever been.  I have lost 31 pounds since then and only have 57 pounds to go lol.  Baby steps.  Today is my cheat day though so we are having $5 pizza tonight.  At least Thursdays are my cheat day because then I don't have to worry about Thanksgiving.  I can't wait to get to the point where I can go on the treadmill again.  I will most likely need Dustin home at first for a little while because I fell last time.  I am still afraid to go back on it too.  I haven't been cleared to go on it yet either.  I am in two weight loss competitions.  The first one, I am in first.  The second one, I am in second.  Boy is that second one bugging me lol.  I guess that's why it pushes people to keep going.  I almost didn't use my cheat day today but you can't totally deprive yourself either.

So.. Thanksgiving.  I'm torn.  Dustin is on call but there is a chance he might be around at home to have a little dinner with me.  He might not get called out at all and then I don't want him sitting at home alone.  He can't leave the house in case he gets called out.  On the other hand, I was invited by my cousin to go to her house and my sister and her husband are going and even offered to drive me which is WAY too much driving for them.  They offered but wow would that be a lot of driving.  I want to see family too.  I'm really torn.  Suggestions?  I would go to my cousin's for just a little while but with the distance and my sister and her husband driving me, I would feel like they would be rushed and I definitely don't want that.  I miss family but of course I love my husband and want him to enjoy his holiday with me even though he says it's fine.  We have spent holidays apart before because of his on call schedules at his old job so I would hate that to happen again but I want to see my family.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Everything on the news is talking about how Trump took a sip of water and how he did it and what Trump said to Rubio about the way he did it before.  I just find it interesting that that is the big thing on the news today.

Anyway, I just wish I could see everyone all at once.  I miss my family and friends.
I had this one issue with a good friend of mine.  I would go into it on my blog because I doubt she reads this but still.  I am just hurt.

I truly hope this disability goes through.  I don't know if it will but that would be nice so I can stay home and take care of my health issues even if it is temporary.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving.  Love you!


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