understanding

To anyone listening,

Why do I care so much if people don't understand the current position Dustin and I are in. In our life, financially, with babies, with my depression, with my acting...  I feel like I'm always being judged and watched.

I was going to do a scene with a guy from the show who isn't my favorite guy but seemed to be the only one available and I ended up not being able to make it because I have some other health stuff going on.

I told him before any plans started or anything and he just isn't answering me.  All I hear is that he is judging me.  He might not be but it bothers me.  For all I know, he is still going to do it just with someone else.  I am feeling a little overwhelmed lately.  I am supposed to see a new therapist tomorrow but we had a change with insurance so I'm not sure I will be able to in time. I had a horrible breakdown at the psychiatrist for no real reason.  I just couldn't stop crying and leaving the house made me shake and my blood pressure sky rocketed.  She suggested a do a program for intense psychiatric therapy but we just can't afford it.

Ok... I'm just having a little annoyed with people breakdown.  I can't totally get into why but I am still praying for miracles.

We had my brother in law fix our one car.  Thank you to GOD!!!  The other car was dripping gas and luckily I made it to the shop before something bad happened.  It ended up being an easy fix.  Again thanks be to God. 

I really need to get back to church.  I just need to find the right one.

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